These are the days

photo: Kate Gantner

On a day trip with my in-laws today, we were commenting that when you are newlyweds with few responsibilities, you don't have enough life experience to fully appreciate the freedom and possibilities of that time of life. And then I said, "And I'm sure in 20 years, I'll look back at now and say the same thing." That prompted me to consider -- what will I look back at right now and really remember as the best? If I look back at my newlywed days and remember sleeping in on Saturdays, having the money to eat out whenever we wanted, and just the total freedom of those days -- what will I look back on during these days now and remember with the same fondness?

I think it will be the simple evenings at home; the summer nights swimming at the neighborhood pool; decorating gingerbread houses at Christmas; laughing at one of the kids' corny jokes; cuddling on the couch; yard games with friends; late summer night walks with my husband; story time and lullabies before bed; singing loud to the music in the car; the many games of PIG on the basketball goal; -- in short, the time we spend together.

While this may seem obvious, I feel like this perspective brought some other realizations to me.

First of all, almost none of these require any sort of technology. In fact, they all happen when we aren't in front of a screen. Secondly, they are all enabled by laundered clothes, meals cooked, clean sheets, grocery shopping, scrubbed toilets, mowed lawns -- the daily work of life.

And also, am I really engaging in those things today? Am I laughing at the jokes that make me want to actually roll my eyes? Am I leaving room in the schedule for impromptu picnics in the front yard because we have nowhere to be? Or are we scheduled so tight that I am too stressed to laugh or cuddle or sing or be spontaneous? It’s not often that we get the benefit of that hindsight 20/20 perspective, but maybe I can put myself in the shoes of my 50-ish-year-old self and imagine.

Sometimes I feel like most of my life is spent working for these moments. But maybe that's ok. I know when I look back at this time, I won't remember all the work, I will just remember the togetherness; and that makes the work totally worthwhile.